When you think about the secrets to a long and healthy life, chances are you don't think about joining a book group or spending time with your great-aunt. But maybe you should: Research shows that friends and family can help keep you from getting sick, and they can even help keep you alive.

"Being part of a social network of friends and family is one of the most dependable predictors of longevity," say John W. Rowe, MD, and Robert L. Kahn, PhD, researchers involved in the most comprehensive study on aging in America. In this class, we'll take a look at the power of social support, and we'll give you some tips for staying active and involved.

Staying connected with friends and family is important throughout our lives, but it can be more difficult as we get older. Death takes some of our closest friends and loved ones, and forming new, close friendships isn't easy in today's rushed society. It's important to nurture the relationships we do have -- and be open to forming new ones.

It may take some effort to stay actively involved with family and friends, but the payoff is worth it. As Rowe and Kahn say, "The task of successful aging is to discover and rediscover relationships and activities that provide closeness and meaningfulness." Here are some tips for staying connected:

•Reconnect with your extended family. If you have kids and grandchildren living nearby, try going the old-fashioned route and hosting Sunday family dinners. If your children are scattered across the country, plan visits and holiday get-togethers. And don't forget your extended family: Visit your aging relatives, organize a family reunion, and help out your relatives who are caring for a loved one at home.

•Stay in touch with friends. Make it a point to have lunch once a week or to talk on the phone a few times a week. The MacArthur Foundation Study on Aging found that one of the strongest predictors of well-being was how frequently a person kept in touch with his friends.

•Get to know your neighbors. If you're like many Americans, you may no longer even know your neighbors. Now is a good time to join or create a neighborhood association, hold block parties, do some advance planning against natural disasters, and figure out what elderly neighbors need to stay independent and in their own homes. The bonds you create now may also help you in the future.

•Deepen your spirituality. If you belong to a church, synagogue, mosque, or temple, now may be a good time to become more active. If you feel lonely and isolated, you may want to consider joining a place of worship, or volunteering to serve meals at a homeless shelter or visit shut-ins.

•Consider adopting a pet. Walking a dog is good exercise, and even pets who aren't begging for walks can lead to better health. Although some studies dispute the connection between pet ownership and physical health, a 2002 study published in the journal Psychosomatic Medicine found that pet owners have significantly lower resting heart rates and blood pressure levels than non-pet owners. Interestingly, pet owners were also found to recover faster than non-pet owners after undergoing a stressful challenge such as doing mental arithmetic.

•Join an exercise class. An exercise class for people your own age is an excellent way to socialize with others and help your physical conditioning at the same time. If you have arthritis, exercise will help keep you strong while reducing pain. Check whether your local YMCA or community center offers classes in water exercise specifically for people with arthritis. Many also have heated lap pools, strength-training classes, and aerobics workouts geared to people over 60.

•Look for a significant other. Even if you have been lucky in love in the past, you may not have a sweetheart now. Although you may never stop missing your partner, there may come a time when you want love in your life again. If so, consider meeting someone through a class, volunteering, or even online dating. (Match.com, in particular, is enjoying huge popularity among older Boomers.)

•Volunteer. Everybody wins when you give your time and skills to a worthy organization such as Habitat for Humanity. Not only does the organization benefit, but you get to socialize with others who share your commitment. The MacArthur Foundation Study on Aging also found that the more meaningful the contribution, the greater the impact on a volunteer's health. So don't just write a check -- get involved.

•Take a class. Maybe you've always wanted to take up quilting, or do Web design, or even learn a second language. Why put it off? Some research suggests that the ability to speak two languages, for example, may actually improve brain function. Using two languages involves something called "fluid intelligence," which is the brain's ability to direct attention where necessary while ignoring irrelevant information. Fluid intelligence is one of the first brain functions to deteriorate in age-related cognitive decline, so exercising it regularly just might help keep your brain healthy longer.

•Plant a garden. Few activities are more rewarding than getting fresh air and regular exercise while growing your own flowers and produce. If you don't have your own yard, consider working in a local community garden -- meeting like-minded people is only one of the benefits.

•Join a book club. Your local library and bookstore may have book clubs that are actively looking for new members. If you're looking for a way to get a group of friends together at least once a month, you may want to form your own.

•Go back to work. If you're retired and find yourself with too much time on your hands, consider getting a part-time job. Or look for ways to mentor others.

•Get involved in grassroots politics. Are you passionate about solar power, greenbelts, affordable housing, preserving Social Security, or something else entirely? Advocacy groups, candidates, and political parties have Web sites where you can sign up to volunteer.

•Take a trip. There are plenty of tour groups that accommodate a wide range of physical and financial abilities. Learning about new places and cultures is a great way to stay involved in the world.

Whatever form it takes -- a kind word of encouragement, an offer to walk together, or help with errands -- support from family and friends can improve your health.

If they jump in too frequently, however, you may lose confidence in your ability to do things for yourself and experience what's called "learned helplessness." People in this position tend to lose their ability to manage the tasks of daily living. But those who remain confident that they can take care of themselves, and who do as much for themselves as they can, generally remain independent longer. Don't be shy about telling your loved ones how they can help -- and when you're better off doing something yourself.

•Call a friend you haven't talked to in a while.

•Join a club or group -- preferably one that gets you out of the house regularly. It could be a work-related group, a charitable organization, or a dance class -- anything that piques your interest.

•Try something new. Venture outside your comfort zone a bit and do something you wouldn't ordinarily do. It could be something as simple as going to a play or volunteering to walk the dogs at a local shelter.

•Think about your "somedays." As in, "Someday I really want to …" or "Someday I'll be…" and do something to make them happen.

Healthy Aging 101, Part 1: Change Your Outlook on Aging

Healthy Aging 101, Part 2: How’s Your Health?

Healthy Aging 101, Part 3: Get Moving

Healthy Aging 101, Part 5: Eating for Good Health

Healthy Aging 101, Part 6: More Rest, Less Stress

Healthy Aging 101, Part 7: Planning for Your Later Years, Protecting Your Legacy

Healthy Aging 101, Part 8: Finding Deeper Meaning

-- Nancy Montgomery is a senior editor at Consumer Health Interactive.

Further Resources

Meetup.com
This Web site offers a way to meet people in your area who share your interests -- no matter what they are.
http://www.meetup.com/

Senior Corps
This branch of the federally funded Corporation for National and Community Service helps people 55 and over find volunteering opportunities in their community.
http://www.seniorcorps.org/

Elderhostel
Elderhostel travels to all 50 states and over 90 countries. Learn about history, culture, and nature while enjoying outdoor activities such as walking and biking and special study cruises.
http://www.elderhostel.org/

References

First published May 16, 2007
Copyright © 2007 Consumer Health Interactive

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