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Do You Know How to Defuse a Tense Situation?

By Paige Bierma
CONSUMER HEALTH INTERACTIVE

"Why do these things always happen to me?" "I can't do anything right." "There's nothing I can do to make it better." What do all of these statements have in common? They're typical of distorted thinking that often paves the way to depression or anger. As David D. Burns, M.D., explains in his classic book Feeling Good, the way you think has a lot to do with the way you feel. Are you thinking your way to anger? Take this short quiz to find out.


1. You call a friend up, but get her answering machine. She doesn't return the call for a week. What do you say when she does call you back?

a. "You must be angry at me."
b. "You probably forgot to call back."
c. "You're always so inconsiderate."
d. "I thought you were a good friend.

2. Your partner says you look nice. What's your first reaction?

a. "Well, he must think I looked awful yesterday."
b. "He's saying that because wants me to do something for him."
c. "I'm glad he noticed. I think I look nice too."
d. "It's so rare that he says anything flattering. What's he up to?"

3. You're driving home when another driver suddenly cuts in front of you. Which of the following thoughts is more likely to help you get home safely?

a. "That jerk thinks he's better than everyone else. I'll teach him a lesson!"
b. "That was rude, but I'm not going to let it get to me. Who knows -- maybe he has some sort of emergency."
c. "I'm tired of letting other people pass me all the time. I'm not going to let that happen again!"
d. "I'm going to yell something out the window as I pass him."

4. You're trying to relax after a bad day at work. Your teenage son says he needs to borrow your car later in the week to get to a party, even though you have told him that you need the car that night. What can you say to help resolve the problem?

a. "I know you want to go to the party, and I'm sure we can figure out a way to get you there. But right now I really need to relax. Let's figure out a solution tomorrow when I get home."
b. "You are so incredibly selfish. You always want everything your way!"
c. "Why do you have to bother me now?"
d. "You haven't done any chores around the house, so I don't want to talk about this."

5. You notice that your coworker is too tired to meet a deadline. He reveals that he partied last night and isn't feeling well. Which comment would be most likely to help you get the job done?

a. "That's what you get for partying like some college frat boy."
b. "It sounds like you're pretty tired. Let's get some coffee so we can get this thing done and go home early."
c. "Your timing is great. You did this last month when we had another deadline."
d. "I don't know how I'll get this done. I guess I'll have to be here all night ... again."



First published Aug 01, 2003


Last updated Aug 27, 2007


Copyright © 2003 Consumer Health Interactive, a CVS Caremark company

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