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Toxic Coworkers: How to Deal with Dysfunctional People on the Job
By Alan A. Cavaiola, PhD, and Neil J. Lavender, PhD
New Harbinger Publications
Paperback 207 pp $13.95

Who hasn't felt, at one time or another, that a boss, coworker, or employee was driving him nuts? You know the type: The manager who zealously scrutinizes every detail of your work, always finding fault with something. The self-absorbed colleague who demands you constantly cover for him so he can look good. The charming but scheming subordinate who steals your ideas on the scramble up the corporate ladder.

Those individuals may be more than difficult; they could be downright diagnosable. Such obsessive-compulsive, narcissistic, and antisocial behaviors are among a class of psychological conditions known as personality disorders, and they can create havoc in the workplace, say psychologists Alan A. Cavaiola and Neil J. Lavender.

Over the years the authors, practicing psychologists who teach at New Jersey's Monmouth University and Ocean County College, respectively, became convinced that personality disorders in the workplace were not only widespread, but extremely destructive. Despite talking to client after client about dysfunctional bosses and employees, they found a paucity of literature on the phenomenon. So they decided to do their own research and write a book -- to help employees and managers recognize and cope with personality disorders. The result is Toxic Coworkers: How to Deal with Dysfunctional People on the Job.

So, you may be wondering, what can you do when you suspect an office mate is sabotaging your career? First of all, you need to learn how to identify the various types of personality disorder. Cavaiola and Lavender stress that run-of-the-mill conflicts that arise periodically in the workplace are not symptomatic of personality disorders. Just because your coworker disagrees with you doesn't mean she's a candidate for psychotherapy. Nor are personality disorders the same as mental illnesses such as anxiety disorders and depression, which, if treated properly, may never interfere with someone's work performance at all.

Rather, Cavaiola and Lavender define personality disorders as "longstanding disturbances in personality that usually begin in late adolescence, continue throughout adulthood, [and] cause a person to consistently act in disturbing patterns of behavior in both occupational and social relationships." Such behavior may throw a monkey wrench into the most ordinary social interactions: A simple difference of opinion, for example, can quickly escalate into a major argument.

Among other traits, people with personality disorders lack empathy for other people. They tend to be rigid and inflexible, have hidden agendas, and have an unusually hard time recognizing or respecting boundaries. They're weighed down by irrational beliefs such as "To be criticized means I'm a failure" or "If I follow orders, I'm weak," the authors say. Disturbingly, individuals with personality disorders not only tend to dismiss the idea that they have a problem, but often see their unpleasant traits as strengths and take pride in them. For this reason, many such individuals respond poorly to therapy -- if they agree to seek treatment at all.

To help you recognize such individuals, the authors cover 10 types of conditions, ranging from passive-aggressive personality disorder to obsessive-compulsive personality disorder. They begin with a definition of each type from the therapist's bible, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), and follow up with hard-hitting advice on how bosses, employees, and colleagues can cope -- or at least keep their sanity -- when dealing with these "toxic" coworkers.

For example, do you have a manager who focuses so single-mindedly on rules, regulations, and productivity that work almost grinds to a halt? Does she find fault with almost everything you do, work compulsively till all hours, avoid making decisions, and insist that her way of doing things is the only way? If so, your boss may be suffering from obsessive-compulsive personality disorder. This is not the same as obsessive-compulsive illness -- you're not likely to see her obsessively washing her hands -- but the disorder can cripple a worker's ability to function as a team player. The lowdown? Avoid arguments, keep a low profile, and steer clear of conflicts that you'll never win, say Cavaiola and Lavender.

You also can shield yourself from your boss's unreasonable demands, the authors say, by finding out exactly what he expects from you and wants you to do. They suggest asking him what the most important project is (you may be surprised), and request guidance with detailed questions such as "Would it be all right for me to write out some ideas for you to review? Then you can let me know which ones to pursue further." Emphasize that there are only so many hours in a day, so he stops expecting superhuman achievements. And don't take personally your boss's lack of praise for a job well done: The problem is with him, not you.

The authors have somewhat different advice for someone working with an obsessive-compulsive colleague. Their mantra, in this case, is to keep up your guard. Your coworker's nitpicking may not only drive you crazy but could be harmful to your career if she points out your every mistake -- no matter how insignificant -- to other coworkers and the boss. To neutralize that threat, the authors advise that you set boundaries, making clear when it's inappropriate for your colleague to intrude on your work. You also may need to remind your boss of your accomplishments if you find an obsessive-compulsive coworker undercutting your work.

Not all coworkers suffering from such a disorder are necessarily trying to undermine you, though. Since many are quite competent workers, it will help if you can try to be patient with their singlemindedness and work cooperatively with them. You may want to divide up your work, the authors suggest, so your obsessive-compulsive colleagues can obsess freely over their parts of the job and leave you free to concentrate on the tasks at hand.

Finally, if you supervise an obsessive-compulsive employee, you may actually benefit from the worker's fixation on doing the job exactly right. But the employee also can get so wrapped up in minutiae that he never finishes the task at hand. To keep the worker on track, Cavaiola and Lavender suggest that managers set clear expectations and boundaries and be explicit about assignments and deadlines. You may want to encourage your obsessive-compulsive employee to turn in early drafts, for example, rather than procrastinate because she hates to turn in a finished product that's anything less than perfect.

Or take the narcissistic employee -- please. According to the DSM, such individuals are characterized by "a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and lack of empathy," often evidenced as envy, taking advantage of others, an exaggerated sense of self-importance and entitlement, and arrogant or haughty behavior. Cavaiola and Lavender don't offer much hope for the poor stiff toiling for the narcissistic personality-disordered boss who demands perfection, unstinting loyalty, and 24/7 devotion to the job.

"You need to learn to cope," they write. "Remember you can't change this type of individual." The authors have more concrete suggestions for managers of narcissistic employees: "Stick to your agenda, not theirs," "teach them to be a team player," and "provide constructive but balanced feedback." And not least of all, keep your superiors apprised of your achievements and the goings-on in your department, lest this "Machiavelli Junior" stab you in the back.

The best defense against a narcissistic colleague is to avoid getting sucked into his or her workplace psychodramas and unreasonable demands. You don't want to end up being emotionally blackmailed the way one nurse was in a scenario cited by the authors. Although the nurse's three children were sick and her husband was away on a business trip, a narcissistic colleague asked her to cover her shift so she could go on a date. When the nurse refused, her coworker threatened to go to their supervisor and to re-evaluate their friendship. "The poor woman with three children ended up feeling guilty and actually considered hiring a baby-sitter so that her friend could have her 'hot date,' " Cavaiola and Lavender write.

Still, a narcissistic or obsessive-compulsive colleague may seem positively benign compared to a coworker exhibiting antisocial personality disorder (APD). The authors write that these workplace bullies, also known as subcriminal or white-collar psychopaths, are generally found on the "legal" side of the same continuum as criminal psychopaths such as Ted Bundy.

These white-collar psychopaths or sociopaths are "individuals who most often do not act out in a criminal way, yet can be just as manipulative and cunning" as a serial killer. Their personality attributes "typically include superficial charm, unreliability, untruthfulness, and insincerity, [a] lack of guilt, remorse, or shame, [and] a need to engage in thrill-seeking behavior," as well as pathological lying, egocentricity, selfishness, and rejection of authority and discipline, according to the authors. In short, they are corporate con artists. They're the tech administrators who over-order company laptops and hawk them on eBay, or employees who sabotage bosses' and coworkers' careers by appropriating their ideas and denigrating their performance to supervisors. They're the outgoing employees who act friendly to their colleagues only to stab them in the back at every opportunity. What's worse, according to Cavaiola and Lavender, the upper reaches of Corporate America may be the natural habitat of the white-collar psychopath: "Subcriminal psychopaths are known for their extroversion, their charm, and their polished social skills, and it's not unusual for these traits to be rewarded within many organizations."

If you think you work for one of these individuals, the authors say, don't be fooled by "props" like the ready smile and good eye contact. Instead, watch your back. The authors advise setting firm ground rules and picking your battles very carefully. Better yet, seriously consider switching jobs. If the person in the next cubicle fits this profile, lock your desk, secure your computer password, keep your personal life private, and notify your coworkers and supervisors of any inappropriate behavior on the part of this colleague. As the authors caution, "Anything you say can and will be used against you." Keep note of any indiscretions -- perhaps keeping a coworker apprised of the situation -- and don't blame yourself or feel responsible for the worker's behavior, the authors say. This is certainly handy advice for anyone who is in danger of being victimized by a white-collar con artist.

That said, some examples of psychopathic behavior cited by the authors don't quite ring true. For instance, the authors recount that a colleague at a drug prevention program went over the head of his supervisor to the outfit's CEO and board of trustees. "He did this under the guise of telling them his ideas of what was wrong within the organization," they write. "In fact, he was trying to put himself in place for a better, higher-paying position." Such a move may indicate poor judgment and a penchant for hardball office politics, but does that make the person a certified subcriminal psychopath? If so, Corporate America is a veritable hive of white-collar crazies.

A few other quibbles. Although Cavaiola and Lavender contend that "many corporations have been crippled as a result of an individual with a personality disorders," they offer little evidence to corroborate that claim or document the magnitude and cost of personality disorders. And it is questionable whether the average cubicle dweller, armed with this book, will be able to correctly distinguish personality disorders in their coworkers.

As Cavaiola and Lavender themselves acknowledge, "Identifying, defining, and diagnosing personality disorders can be a tricky business," even for mental health professionals. Psychoanalyzing every on-the-job interaction for signs of a personality disorder is unlikely to lead to a happier workplace. Still, as the economy worsens and the workplace becomes even more fraught with tension, employees and employers may find this book an invaluable guide for handling those colleagues whose behavior threatens to send them over the edge.

-- Todd Woody is a former senior editor at The Industry Standard whose work has appeared in The New York Times, the San Francisco Chronicle and other publications.

First published March 14, 2002
Last updated December 7, 2007
Copyright © 2002 Consumer Health Interactive

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