Related topics: •  Special Report: Dental Anxiety

I'm a wimp about going to the dentist. When I had to find a new dentist last year, I panicked. Let's face it -- for a lot of us, the idea of letting a total stranger poke sharp objects into our mouths and discover our darkest dental secrets (You don't floss every day! You grind your teeth in your sleep!) is pretty frightening.

Being a plugged-in kind of gal, I searched the Internet for dentists in my dental plan and found one who looked promising -- she even had email. When I emailed her and explained my fears, she immediately wrote back, assuring me that I wasn't alone. She said that if I wanted to, I could spend the first visit just talking to her and meeting her staff.

Somewhat reassured, I made an appointment. At my first appointment, we chatted a bit, and when I was relaxed, she asked if I felt comfortable enough to go ahead with an examination. To my surprise, I was. I realized that part of what intimidated me about visiting the dentist was the idea of not being in control. Lying back in that chair with masked people hovering over you isn't exactly the same as relaxing in your favorite recliner in front of the TV. But over the course of a few appointments, as I learned to trust my dentist, I pretty much lost my nervousness.

If you're a white-knuckle dental patient like I was, you may find the experience more manageable if you remind yourself that you're in charge. The Dental Phobia Treatment Center of New York suggests that, like me, you have a chat with your dentist at your first visit just to get comfortable. When you're comfortable proceeding, agree on some ground rules, like a hand signal if you want the dentist to stop working so you can take a breather. Have him explain what he'll do beforehand, so you know what to expect. If the sight of needles alarms you, ask him to warn you when you're about to get a shot so you can close your eyes.

If your dentist isn't willing to accommodate you, find one who will. Your dentist is there to provide a service, and if you don't like the way he operates, shop around for someone who will treat you with the respect and consideration you deserve.

If it's been a while since you've been to the dentist, you may imagine your new dentist taking one look inside your mouth and running screaming from the room in horror. It'll never happen. Dentists have seen it all, from patients who haven't been to the dentist in decades, to those who cry at the sight of the drill. Their job isn't to judge you; it's to treat you. Good dentists know that many people are afraid to visit them, and they'll go out of their way to make the experience easier for you.

Often our imagination will conjure up a scenario that is much worse than reality. If the term "root canal" brings to mind some medieval torture, get the facts from your dentist -- chances are the procedure isn't as bad as you think. Ask what your dentist's policy is on nitrous oxide (sometimes called laughing gas) or sedatives. Your dentist may be able to give you a mild sedative when you arrive for your appointment so that by the time you get in the dental chair, you'll be relaxed and calm. However, if you use any kind of sedative, be sure to have someone drive you to and from your appointment. In time, perhaps you won't need sedatives to feel relaxed in a dentist's office.

If seeing the dentist gives you the jitters, don't shore up your nerves with a few cups of coffee before you get there, suggests the Academy of General Dentistry. Caffeine is likely to increase your anxiety. The academy also suggests that before you see the dentist you eschew sugary foods for those that are high in protein, because, unlike sugar, protein has a calming effect.

Before your dental appointment, find a method of relaxation that works for you. For some people, it helps to focus on relaxing the muscles of the body in order, from head to toes. Others find that visualizing themselves on a tropical beach and hearing the sound of the waves puts them in a calmer frame of mind. Meditation is worth a try, too. If music relaxes you, take your own music selection with you to the dentist's office and listen on headsets while the dentist works. When you feel yourself tensing up again, take a deep breath and consciously let your muscles relax -- it's hard to be nervous and scared when your body is relaxed.

Some doctors believe that someone with a true dental phobia -- or a phobia of any kind -- ought to be evaluated by a mental health specialist for behavioral therapy or treatment of panic disorder. You might consider seeing a mental health professional if the relaxation or other techniques don't work for you.

While a visit to the dentist will probably never make you jump up and down with glee, it doesn't have to be a nerve-wracking experience. By talking frankly with your dentist, asking questions, and remembering that you're in charge and are entitled to ask for the kind of treatment you want, you can turn the experience from miserable to manageable.

-- Nancy Montgomery is an associate editor at Consumer Health Interactive.

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Last updated August 21, 2009
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