Sunday November 26, 2006

This happens a lot: Friends and relatives will be talking to me, and will mention in passing some personal problem or worry or obstacle that has recently popped up in their lives. And then suddenly, they cut themselves short and quickly apologize. "Oh I'm sorry. I shouldn't even bring this up," they say, looking chagrined. "I mean, I know it's nothing compared to cancer."

I'm not sure they believe me when I try to tell them how wrong they are. It's not nothing, no matter how trivial, not to me anyway. I haven't relocated to some alien universe where only people with cancer have a right to complain, or feel discouraged, or depressed, or whatever.

Will anyone ever believe me if I tell them that the cancer is often the least of my worries? It's serious and all, sure, and the process of dealing with it continues to drain me. But most of the time I feel like the cancer is just annoying background noise, like living next to a freeway or an airport. Or maybe both at the same time. You hate it, yeah, but you get used to it. And it certainly doesn't drown out the rest of your life's woes.

In all honesty, I feel more debilitating anxiety over my financial disaster; deeper heartache over my foundering relationship; greater terror over the state of the world. A few weeks ago I nearly died, and it was a frickin' migraine that brought me to my knees. Not the stage IV cancer or its barbaric chemotherapy. A weasely little migraine.

Maybe only people who've experienced both cancer and severe migraines can really appreciate the irony.

But please: dear friends, dear relatives, dear total strangers on the internet, don't be intimidated by this hideous cancer beast. Continue to feel free to grouse at length around me about your own personal issues and challenges! I am so tired of being the only person in the room who isn't a frickin' trooper. I feel isolated enough as it is. Please, somebody join me.

Page 5: How to Be A Support Ho: Our heroine dodges lethal germ exposure by entering a surreal support group.

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First published September 4, 2007
Copyright © 2007 Consumer Health Interactive

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